What is Authenticity in Leadership? A Reflection Shared.
By Kerrie Nobes, Founder, Kreating New Collaborations, Advisory Board Member, Business Women Australia
At a recent Business Women Australia “Cheese and Chats” hosted by Vida Carlino in Perth (a leader and coach in the BWA community), we delved into a conversation about what authenticity meant to each of us. Vida beautifully held space for each of us to share our experiences and to understand the value in truly listening to other viewpoints. I found this helped to expand my thinking. I’ve heard so much about these events from Melbourne that I was chuffed to be able to attend while I was visiting Perth!
The conversation moved to how to be authentic and effective in leadership, raising real-life experiences, including “what if I don’t ‘gel’ with some of the team?” I reflected on the idea that to be authentic, I need to know who I want to be, and what values drive my own behaviour. Busy lives and realms are not always conducive to spending time to reflect on what really matters. Some time ago, a colleague said to me, “We spend more time on where we are going to holiday than we do on what we really want from life and work”. That stuck with me and was a catalyst to my decision to undertake a learning journey to more fully understand my own motivations.
Around the table at this BWA courageous conversation, many questions were raised, and diverse voices were given a place to be heard. “How do I be authentic in leadership if I don’t like someone or they annoy me,” and “How can I be authentic and not play favourites, there are people that I am friends with and others I’m not?”
These questions and the insights around the table certainly got me thinking. When I consider authenticity in leadership, I need to know my strengths, values, and purpose so they can act as guiding principles. I have found the SCARF model of human needs (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness) to be of value, as this also comes into play with my authentic self. I realise that I want to treat everyone with equal respect regardless of hierarchy, need autonomy over what I’m focusing on, want to meaningfully connect with others on a personal level, and to treat everyone fairly. I believe that authenticity is a combination of ‘instinct’, reflection, and emotional intelligence. Essentially, I’m the same person at work or home and driven by the same values.
For me, authenticity in leadership is about knowing myself. Understanding what makes me tick, what’s important, and how I want to be perceived by others. That is how I show up with intent. It has taken me years of reflection, deep thought, and many amazing conversations with those around me, with the courage to call ‘bulls%$#’ when I go off my line of truth. I am a work in progress, for sure.
Being authentic requires me to understand what it is I want, what matters to me, and how I can be consistent in following my true north. I see that someone can be authentic and cruel; “I’m just being honest” without a filter. Or, someone can be authentically respectful and open-minded with a desire to understand others’ views. I have personally found there is much to be learned from those around me. My realisations gleaned by listening, learning, and hearing the diverse voices of those around me are that authentic leadership starts with leading self – and that requires work.
Reflection is the key.
Without reflection, as a leader on this journey, there will be a struggle to get the best outcome for self, the business, and the team.
In penning these thoughts, I’d like to share my process of reflection, and it includes asking myself these questions:
- What energises me?
- What drives my ambition?
- Why do I do what I do, and is it a good fit?
- What are my strengths?
- Where do I want to see growth?
- Do I use a growth and learning mindset?
I find these questions are important factors for me in my development to become an effective leader. I also adhere to the concept of reflective practice, where leaders look in the mirror when things go astray, helps to see what role they had in the challenge, and then look out the window to acknowledge and recognise others who contributed to accomplishments. This to me follows my values of being accountable for my actions and supportive of others.
I believe we cannot be authentic until we have self-knowing, self-esteem, and self-control; all capabilities strongly tied to emotional intelligence. Let’s talk about emotional capital – (note I’m an avid user of dashes to connect my thoughts, this is not AI written!) – our ability to understand and control our own emotions and see the emotions of others with curiosity and empathy.
Self-awareness allows me to ‘strategise’ and build my brand by being intentional about what my authentic, aligned version of self is.
In my work, I often hear from leaders struggling with their team not performing, not doing what is asked of them (or in reality what is more often ‘told to’ them).
My invitation to you is to contemplate this key question of any leader….” What have you done to build the trust and confidence of those in your team and those working with you, to engage with you?
In my experience, a team member cannot perform if they do not feel seen, heard, and safe to have different views from their leaders and teammates – and to bring their authentic selves to work.
A team cannot perform if they do not feel seen, heard, and safe to have different views from their leaders and teammates, that is, bring their authentic selves to work.
For me, truly successful leaders start with knowing themselves – understand what their strengths are, what energises them, and the biases they carry (too slow, too weak, too detailed, not detailed enough, too family centric, too bold, not bold enough…….). It helps to know both what triggers our negative biases and what glimmers offer us joy. I, like many, don’t like to think I am biased, but my experience tells me biases are there, and the more I can be aware, the more I can proactively choose a response rather than ‘react’.
For many years, I really struggled with bold, directive, and opinionated people. I’d stop listening when they ordered me about, stifled my innovation and motivation, or didn’t allow me opportunities to contribute when I had new ideas. I found that people who possess ‘dominant’ or ‘blue’ preferences in their behaviour and thinking were totally intimidating and that these individuals made me question myself and lowered my confidence.
Through many a self-assessment tool and subsequent learning, I have found my unique groove, my definition of authenticity, of how I want to be seen and to be. These assessments have given me an understanding of how I can be most effective, leaning into my strengths and learning from those with different strengths. My ability to flex has increased over the years, along with my confidence and respect for diversity of thought and behaviour.
If I had not stopped to self-reflect, I’d have missed so many opportunities. The reality is that there are brilliant, wise, talented people all around me who want to help me and my business succeed. They are different to me, and that is great.
How do you see authenticity play out in your leadership?
Reach out if you’d like to explore some of the value self-assessment tools I have used, and that I offer to others to help identify your strengths, build awareness, and find growth opportunities.
I am always happy to chat about learning and growth!
Author
Kerrie Nobes, Founder, Kreating New Collaborations
Advisory Board Member Business Women Australia
Facilitrainer, Facilitator, Coach, Mentor, and Speaker – Accredited for DiSC, HBDI, GENOS, ECR
Connect with Kerrie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerrienobes-leadershipfacilitatorcoach/
Website:kreatingnewcollaborations.com.au
Coalition of Curious Minds Book Club: See website, Eventbrite, or LinkedIn posts for details or contact Kerrie via https://www.kreatingnewcollaborations.com.au/contact-info
Join the BWA Facilitator Community of Practice: https://events.humanitix.com/online-confident-facilitator-community-of-practice-peer-group-development-facilitation-skills-dyr5qbrm
Kreating New Collaborations Conversation Cards: Kerrie has designed conversation cards to create open dialogue on many leadership capabilities. Available via her website.
ABOUT KERRIE NOBES:
Kerrie is the founder of Kreating New Collaborations, a highly regarded facilitator, trainer, leadership coach, and speaker. Kerrie creates safe, energising environments where authentic conversations and meaningful change can flourish. Her facilitation style blends warmth and structure, enabling participants to overcome blocks, surface fresh insights, and connect with purpose. Kerrie facilitates groups across corporate, government, and community sectors, bringing people together to navigate complexity, embrace collaboration, and ignite momentum. Passionate about personal growth and collective leadership, Kerrie’s sessions are transformative, practical, and deeply human. She has a passion for positive, productive workplace cultures that encourage growth and innovation.
Kerrie holds a Diploma of Leadership & Coaching, Certificate IV’s in Leadership & Management, Personal & Business Coaching and Training & Assessment. She also holds accreditations in DiSC, HBDI, Roche Martin Emotional Capital Report, and GENOS Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Assessment.
Kerrie is a Leader member of Business Women Australia and sits on the Advisory Board. She is also a member of International Coaching Federation and convenor of the Coalition of Curious Minds Book Club.
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