The Confident Facilitator

By Kerrie Nobes | Founder, Kreating New Collaborations

At the conclusion of a Masterclass series that I ran for Business Women Australia, on how to become a more confident facilitator, I reflected on the conversations, sharing of ideas, and openness of the group to share and own their fears in a shared desire to be more effective in facilitating teams, meetings, and group sessions.

We had a fabulous small group of warrior women who focused on their growth and building their capabilities, strengths, and confidence in facilitation.

The thing is…

We all facilitate through our working lives … and our private lives, for that matter!

Whether it be facilitating a boardroom discussion, a team strategy meeting, sharing information with clients, facilitating learning outcomes, sales, or family discussions, facilitation skills are transferable across domains.  A must-have skill for engaging others.

I’m blessed to have the opportunity to facilitate often, to learn from others, and see situations through a myriad of lenses.  I always walk away with more insight than I entered the room with, regardless of whether the group is virtual or in person.  We are all works in progress.

As a group, in the masterclass, we began our time together exploring our experiences and mindsets, discovering what holds us back.  Facilitating is about relinquishing control and inviting others to share their ideas, thoughts, and feelings.  It’s not about having all the answers; it’s the art of broadening and widening the discussion to include diversity of thought, inviting respectful debate, and finding possibilities and solutions.

My ‘aha’ moment was when I first stepped into a corporate leadership role.  Luckily for me, I had a fabulous mentor, my manager.  I distinctly remember feeling like I had to control team meetings, create the agenda, run the show, and have the answers.  The agenda ruled the meeting.  My manager Karin posed the question “What if you asked – instead of told?”. AHA   Brilliant!

By inviting the team to contribute to agenda items, we included what they needed to be more productive (as a sales manager, my job was to help them do theirs!).  The meetings became more robust with discussions, sharing of what was working and what was not.  The team thrived, motivation increased, sales targets were blitzed, engagement increased, and the team supported each other’s learning.  I’ll be forever grateful for this learning.

In my journey as a confident facilitator, there was one more obstacle for me – a severe fear of public speaking and being in the spotlight.  Our Masterclass group shared their fears and ways to overcome them, too.

Strategies that we discussed include these gems that are worth repeating:

• Increasing our self-awareness, behaviours, thoughts, and feelings so we can focus on ‘facilitating’

• Identifying our biases – whether these are triggers to negative behaviours and glimmers of the positive

• The QTip – “Quit Taking It Personally”, this is such a great strategy to help keep calm and focused, allowing others to have their emotional response 

• Power of the pause – allowing our logic to catch up with our emotional reaction to act proactively rather than reactively

• Avoid stacking questions or using leading questions, so that group members have time to think, reflect, and react

• Assessments and profile tests – we can use these to increase our self-knowing  and understanding of others (e.g. DiSC, HBDI, ECR, Genos EI)

• Increasing our emotional intelligence – this can be developed with conscious intention

• Looking for feedback – from trusted sources

• Having clear objectives for the facilitation, but not being married to the journey to get there

• Being kind to self and checking our inner critic

• Reframing experiences to the positive – what do I want, what learning is available to me?

With this type of self-exploration, we are more open to seeking opportunities for growth. Changing mindsets from a negative inner critic to a cheerleader is a powerful reframe.   

What do Confident Facilitators do?

• Create a safe environment for people to share both the good and their concerns

• Draw on the art of open questions, Try TEDS;  Tell me more, Explain how that looks/feels, Describe your experience, Share more about that

• Lean into our curiosity and look for opportunity

• Build trust- both character and capability – by bringing our authentic self to the meeting, being consistent, and owning our strengths

• Create ‘time’ and ‘space’ for reflection and open conversations that explore options and allow debate and robust discussion

• Help teams build an Agenda to give direction. Setting the scene and aim of the session, without stifling creativity, is a good place to start.   Less is more, give people the agenda ahead of time so the reflectors can pre-think their stance and experience beforehand.

• Value a common language and understand the power that comes with diverse thinking

The Masterclass contributions, discussions, and activities also allowed us time to ponder and share the tools we use in facilitation.  Each of us is unique; there is no perfect way, so it was a good opportunity to create our own ‘structure’ and process to help guide us going forward.

Here are some of the Tools we shared:

• Having a ‘game plan’ with key points you want to explore or share with the group helps everyone stay focused on the outcomes. This is very useful if things get ‘hairy’ or completely off track.  We all have times when our emotions are triggered, and our ability to stay positive and proactive leaves us to let in our fight/flight response.  Having a plan in front of you can help when trying to reset.

• Mindfulness practice and being observant to take in the unspoken communication.  We discussed the Third Space (work of Australia’s own Dr Adam Fraser), who shares the strategy of REFLECT / REST / RESET to stay at our best.

• Cultivating energy to stay mindful and positive

• Ice-breakers and energisers for the group

• Brainstorming techniques

• Card decks to visualise, give inspiration, and creativity to view things differently

• DeBono’s Thinking Hats to decrease judgment, test ideas, and stay in our own lane

70-20-10 

The 70-20-10 rule of adult learning helps us understand that our formal learning sessions are just a small part of the journey to becoming a confident, continuously improving Facilitator.  Sharing of knowledge and experience with peers is 20%, with the majority of building confidence in the 70% of doing!   Practice and experience make all the difference. Look for every opportunity to implement, refine, and improve facilitation skills.

Facilitation is one of the most powerful ways to ensure collaboration and equity in discussions and decision-making.  Dynamics vary across different groups, and as a confident facilitator, our job is to ensure everyone gets heard and knows their input is valued.  Managing inappropriate interactions, staying curious, and dampening our judgment of others are all part of the process of facilitating and managing human dynamics.

Want to become a more confident facilitator?

If you are looking to increase your facilitation skills, start by being courageous in taking on a curious facilitator role, even in everyday conversations – rather than simply advising, fixing, or stating an opinion. Try using a ‘beginners’ mindset in a discussion, or to help a group or team explore issues and challenges with curiosity. Ask questions like –  “What might be?” – “What else could be true?”, “What other paths could get to our key outcomes that could be available?”

There will be times when it is messy, perhaps broken, and challenging. We learn from ‘failures’ – and reframe these as “opportunities for growth” so learn to silence your inner critic and embrace your strengths and the strengths of those around you.  

A tip that I find to be very useful – I lean into my 3-pillars of SUPPORT, CHALLENGE, CHAMPION for both self and others.

An Invitation to Join Our Community of Practice

The world needs more facilitators, and if you are on this journey or feeling called to develop these skills, we would love you to join us at the Business Women Australia Facilitators Community of Practice.

BWA is a fabulous platform to expand your comfort in facilitated discussion, both as a participant to gain confidence and see others in action.

I encourage cherry picking what will work best for you, and build your confidence by leading discussions in a supportive environment.

Our Community of Practice is an online professional development program that is actually a peer group, with the brains trust in the Zoom room. It is interactive, with the opportunity to practice tools, share tips and techniques. Following the Masterclass, we thought – let’s keep this going!  Members of BWA, Leaders, managers, advisers, coaches, facilitators – any woman who is keen to run better group meetings – are invited to join our community and be part of this group. The knowledge sharing, tools, and experience frameworks shared will increase facilitation confidence through trial and error. We reckon the best way to improve is through a fun, valuable, experiential practice each session. We expect mistakes and learning, not perfection!

If you are committed to lifelong learning, professional growth, and mastery in facilitation, this will be the perfect space to explore challenges, exchange ideas, and deepen the art and science of guiding groups with confidence and impact.

All members and guests are welcome to participate and experience the value of life-long learning, professional connection, collaboration, and continue to grow our extraordinary community with Business Women Australia.

Check the BWA Website or Humanitx for the next date of the Confident Facilitator Community of Practice 

https://events.humanitix.com/host/busines-women-australia

Not a member of Business Women Australia?

Join today: https://businesswomenaustralia.com.au/membership/

ABOUT THE AUTHOR AND LEAD FACILITATOR, KERRIE NOBES

Kerrie is the founder of Kreating New Collaborations, a highly regarded facilitator, trainer, leadership coach, and speaker. Kerrie creates safe, energising environments where authentic conversations and meaningful change can flourish. Her facilitation style blends warmth and structure, enabling participants to overcome blocks, surface fresh insights, and connect with purpose. Kerrie facilitates groups across corporate, government, and community sectors, bringing people together to navigate complexity, embrace collaboration, and ignite momentum. Passionate about personal growth and collective leadership, Kerrie’s sessions are transformative, practical, and deeply human. She has a passion for positive, productive workplace cultures that encourage growth and innovation. 

Kerrie holds a Diploma of Leadership & Coaching,  Certificate IVs in Leadership & Management, Personal & Business Coaching, and Training & Assessment. She also holds accreditations in DiSC, HBDI, Roche Martin Emotional Capital Report, and GENOS Leadership & Emotional Intelligence Assessment. 

Kerrie is a Leader member of Business Women Australia and sits on the Advisory Board. She is also a member of the International Coaching Federation.

ABOUT BUSINESS WOMEN AUSTRALIA

BWA brings together business women from all sectors, industries, and states

• business owners and entrepreneurs
• executives and managers
• professionals
• women on boards
• emerging leaders
• women who desire growth and high-level connections

Business Women Australia is focused on key areas of development.

• Leadership 
• Business Improvement
• Personal and Professional Growth
• Connections and Friendship

Join as a member today. 

Questions about membership? Contact Lyn@businesswomenaustralia.com.au.